How To Become a Collector

What exactly makes a space feel homey? A guide for making your own space feel magically lived-in and welcoming, starting with curating collections.

This week’s episode of Feeling! TV is my favorite so far. We are 4 YouTube videos in! It details a trip to Florida to an amazing school where I paint a mural (with a very daunting German Shepherd). But my very favorite part of the video is when Connor & I are hiding behind a hill (lying in an ant pile), trying not to be spotted, as his brother is about to bring his girlfriend around the corner to propose.

We realized the microphone we had hidden under the bench he was going to propose on was not working…while the couple was coming right around the corner. What resulted is maybe my favorite depiction of the man I married ever — falling, rolling, racing for his brother. I had not laughed that hard in a very long time.

This vlog felt so personal, like I was literally bringing you all into my life! I always try to write words that comfort and evoke joy, and I hope you see that translated in this new long-form video adventure. I hope it’s…cozy?! Just fun to watch!

We are having a blast making them together (which is the whole point), and really, I’m just elated that our children will have an archive of our life in our twenties that they can see one day. Hope you enjoy our documenting!

This special edition of the Whimsy Dispatch is focused on home design. Normally, the weekly dispatch is for supporting subscribers of Feeling! But this week, it’s an “open house” for anyone who wants to peek inside. Hope you’ll stick around!

What does it mean to be a collector?

Have you ever felt at home in someone else’s house?
A place where you didn’t keep your things, it wasn’t yours, yet somehow, it felt like it could be?

That feeling of safety. Dozing off on the couch. Knowing where the water glasses are kept. The smell that greets you when you open the front door.

Why do some homes feel homey, and others don’t? What makes a space feel like you can unwind, take a nap, and be yourself without pretense? Why do some homes feel like a comforting blanket, cozy, disarming, welcoming? Is it the design? The people? Both?

There’s a growing trend in home decor: people are chasing that lived-in look and feel. The reign of the ultra-sleek, colorless, modern space seems to be over. Now, charming cottages are gracing the covers of design magazines. Bold wallpaper. Clashing patterns. Pots and pans hung proudly on the wall. Warmth is so back.

Julia Child’s Kitchen via Jim Scherer

Of course, you can design a home to look lived-in…but guests can tell the difference. You know that sterile feeling when something’s off. It’s rare and remarkable to walk into someone else’s home and feel completely safe and welcome.

I started thinking about the places in my life that have somehow captured the essence of home, even though I didn’t live there. I came up with three standouts.

*This would be a fabulous journal reflection, if you are a journaler: “What homes have I felt most at home in that were not my own?”

1. Granna and Grandpa’s House
   I grew up five minutes from my grandparents, so I spent summers in their pool, ran through their sprinklers, and often spent the night. Their house had plush green carpet, walls of windows overlooking Grandpa’s beloved lawn, and a piano. I’d wake up in the guest room to the smell of coffee and tiptoe down the hall to find Grandpa reading the paper with his black coffee, Grandma at the stove cooking bacon and eggs, a tiny “kitchen TV” playing Good Morning America. It was soft, warm, and safe.

   

2. Shayne and Amanda’s House
   During college, I met Shayne and Amanda, a couple with three kids who loved hosting all us nomadic college students. Every Sunday, a tribe of us would gather in their home for dinner, a welcome break from the campus cafeteria. Their couch was always full of pillows, textures, and usually a napping college student. Toys were scattered on the floor, someone always strummed a guitar, and we knew where to find the water glasses and boxed mac & cheese. It was chaotic, noisy, and abundant. We could show up unannounced and be embraced without hesitation.

   

3. Rachel and Jack’s House
   I babysat and sold art to pay for groceries in college. Rachel & Jack’s home, filled with four kids, was special. Rachel is a musician and artist, and I have yet to find a home more curated and colorful. Their home was an explosion of color and creativity: terrazzo floors, red-painted rooms, black fireplaces, curated art, and kids’ toys everywhere like they were intentionally designed to be on the floor somehow. If I stayed late, I’d sleep in the guest room and wake to imaginary games I’d instantly become a character in and arts and crafts across the kitchen island. Fresh limes and sea salt filled the teal kitchen counters for taco nights. They invited Connor & I as college kids to grown-up dinner parties too, which made me feel so cool.

I could walk through these homes with my eyes closed. I remember every cabinet, nook, and drawer. They were places where I always felt welcome to be myself — a soft place to land outside the routines of work and school.

When I ask myself what made them feel so safe, a few threads stand out. You could try this too. Make a list of homes that have mattered to you, and do a little detective work. But here’s what I’ve found:

• Warmth and softness. Nothing felt rushed. The whole space was flexible, comforting.

• Texture. Soft rugs, layered patterns, textured wallpaper, a mix of furniture styles.

• Seating. Spaces to gather, around tables, on couches, even the floor.

• Color. Rich and bold. None of these homes were afraid of making a statement.

• Noise. It was always noisey. Laughter, conversation, music. The sound of life.

• Mess. Play invites mess, and that mess makes a home feel real.

• Things to do. Instruments, books, games, outdoor space, art supplies — each room had something interactive.

• Mindset. These people were truly hospitable. I didn’t feel like a guest; I felt like I was stepping into their life. I wasn’t the center of attention, just welcome to be part of whatever was happening. That’s my favorite kind of host: present, but not performative.

• Collections. Each home had curated collections of books, plates, dinnerware, vases, figurines, puzzles, art, objects, family photos, and instruments. The space felt custom, full of personality.

Now, in our tiny New York apartment, I’m trying to make the same feeling. It’s the smallest space we’ve ever lived in, and yet the place we’ve hosted the most. We’ve found a group of friends in the city who mean the world to me, and I just want to keep inviting them in.

Here’s how I’ve tried to create that same recipe for hominess:

• I’ve filled the space with color, rich green and bright red make a big impact.

• I wash and fluff our blankets (with Dedcool detergent!) before guests come over.

• I play music or crack a window to let the city sounds in. When a big group is over, I’ll have something playful on the TV, like the Coney Island hot dog eating contest on the 4th of July.

• I’ve let go of perfection. There will probably be dishes in the sink. The dog’s hair won’t be perfectly combed.

• We keep cards, games, and puzzles nearby, and a big collection of books that guests always love poking through.

• I’ve started some of my own collections too!

Looking back, each of those homes — Granna and Grandpa’s, Shayne and Amanda’s, Rachel and Jack’s — was filled with collections. Not just of objects, but of life. A collection of routines, of smells, of mismatched mugs, of stories. The kind of collections that made the homes feel alive and uniquely theirs.

They didn’t collect for show or aesthetics; they collected because they paid attention, which is a kind of way to express love. And you felt it when you walked in.

That’s the kind of collector I want to be! I want to be someone who slowly and intentionally builds a home full of meaning. It will be a lifelong endeavor to have cabinets and drawers with things that truly matter.

So if you're longing for your space to feel a little more like home, maybe the place to begin isn’t with a remodel — but with a collection!

How to Be a Collector:

You just need curiosity, a little intention, and the willingness to notice things. Not a big budget, and no hunger to obtain simply for the sake of obtaining.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to starting (or deepening) your own collections:

1. Identify the Common Thread
Ask yourself: What am I already drawn to?
You might already be collecting without realizing it. Maybe you always grab a matchbook from a restaurant. Maybe you’re always drawn to blue glass or ceramic animals or vintage maps.

The thread could be:

• A color (butter yellow, sea glass green)

• A material (linen, enamel, glass, wood)

• A theme (meals, memory, nature, travel)

• A feeling (comfort, nostalgia, joy, awe)

Collections are most meaningful when they stem from what you already love. You don’t need to overthink it, just start by noticing patterns in your taste.

2. Hunt with Intention (and Patience)
Part of the magic is the thrill of the hunt. Look in:

• Flea markets, estate sales, antique malls

• Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist

• Etsy or eBay (set alerts for your keyword)

• Vacations, small-town shops, gas stations, museums

Don’t feel like you need to buy a dozen pieces at once. Let your collection unfold slowly over time. One piece here, another six months from now. That’s what makes it yours.

Tip: Be okay with skipping something if it’s not quite right. Collecting is about curating, not accumulation.

3. Store and Display Thoughtfully
Collections want to be seen, but they also need boundaries. Remember, not everything needs to be out at once. Display a few, and then rotate your displays. You are the creative director of your home.

A few display ideas:

• A dedicated shelf, tray, or cabinet

• A shadowbox or pinboard (for flat or tiny objects)

• Groupings by color, size, or texture

• Rotating “mini exhibits” in your entryway, bathroom, or nightstand

Think of your collection like a mini art installation. How can you make it feel intentional but not cluttered?

We got Mustard Made’s “The Collector” piece in Poppy. The cabinets actually inspired this whole article about collecting, because I have enjoyed filling them so much.

I reached out to the brand (always trying to get you all a deal), and they generously offered 10% off their cabinets for Feeling! Magazine readers. So if you want to start your own collection through their bright colors and beautiful fluted glass, you can do so with about $100 off! Use this link, and the code “JENNA10” to get your discount.

4. Refresh and Rotate
Collections don’t have to stay static. Over time, you might:

• Rotate seasonal items (shells in summer, vases in fall)

• Swap placements so they feel new again (again, think of it like a rotating art gallery!)

• Let go of items that no longer feel special

This keeps your space feeling fresh and gives your pieces a chance to shine.

Use photos or a journal to remember the history of each piece, where you found it, and why you chose it. (Can you imagine how cute a “collection archive” journal would be?!)

5. Use Your Collection
Don’t just display, live with it! Let your favorite vintage plates come out at dinner. Wear the scarf. Burn the candle. Use the stamps, flip through the books, pour tea into the mismatched cups.

Collections aren’t just for aesthetics, they’re for living. Let them participate in your routines and celebrations.

Final thought:
Being a collector is really about building a relationship with beauty, memory, and delight. It’s about creating a home that reflects your stories. They are irrecapable.

Who knows, maybe one day, someone will walk through your door and feel that same quiet magic. That sense of safety. That deep sigh of oh… this feels like home.

sourceboard for images

Collectors of Feeling! Magazine

Need some inspiration for what to collect? I asked Feeling! readers, “What do you collect?” And they had some amazing answers, as expected, as readers of great taste.

(Inspired by how the American Girl Magazine used to have write-in answers from readers)

From

Jenna Mindel

: "I collect vintage crewnecks. I love how they were once a source of comfort for somebody else and now they are for me too. They feel so much cozier than the ones we make today--and they're a lot cuter too!”

From

Mary

: “I collect books because they take me to a different world when I need an escape and they make for easy decoration anywhere! Also picture frames, I’m always nabbing these from thrift stores. I love to showcase photos of people and memories I love.”

From

Isa

: “I collect card decks from all the places in the world I've been, they remind me of places and experience there, I try to find the perfect deck in each city to encapsulate the city vibe, I started collecting because card games remind me of family and good times, I like to have those memories with me when I travel.”

From

Abigail

: “I collect rings because they are something I can pass down one day and are beautiful and hold meaning. I only will get a ring though for a special occasion/memory. For example, my mom and I took a trip together after I graduated college and I bought a ring from that trip to remember it by!”

From

Abby Clegg

: “I collect tote bags from most countries/places I’ve been. It’s my favorite thing because every morning when I’m getting ready to leave the house I can decide what vibe of place I want to channel with the bag I choose. And I can use them when I’m grocery shopping!”

From

Lauren Syed

: “I love to pick up a piece of jewelry from places that I travel to. It gives me unique jewelry collection and each time I wear a piece it reminds me of the trip. It’s also a great conversation starter at parties when I get a compliment and it has a story!”

From

Kayleigh

: “I collect refrigerator magnets from all the new places I go. I love having a little gallery of memories in my kitchen. But I also collect Christmas ornaments. I buy one new ornament every year for a major event or fun thing that happened that year. In 30 years I hope I have the most magical Christmas tree.”

From

Natalie

: “ I collect shells! I’m a lover over the beach/ocean. Whenever I go to a beach I love looking through the shells and taking one or two. A way to cherish the time there, bringing a piece of it back with me. I put them in little trinket dishes around the house.”

From

elisa

: “Art and books are my big ones. I have a few rules. Handmade for art. Unique copies for books. And then a special collection- every time we travel somewhere we hit up a thrift in the local town and find a treasure to bring home.”

From

Madhumitha Priyadarshini

: “I collect antiques, since the craftsmanship is not something we get nowadays. I’m so drawn to vintage aesthetics and instruments , it just makes so much sense and just brightens up my space. Also every object is preloved and clearly has a story to convey. I mean it should have been a part of someone’s memory and that’s precious to me! Vintage objects anyday!”

From

✨Shaunté Ledger

: “This is such a great concept! I collect antique bells, for a few reasons. It’s a family name. I love the way the bells ring. They sound like fairies, and I ring a bell at the end of my work day to signal to my brain that I’m finished for the night.”

From

Jane Larson

: “I collect orchids because they are so beautiful and rewarding once you understand them. They make my home feel alive. Also, my grandma had an orchid greenhouse and that’s always been my dream.”

From

Emilee Russell

: “lol i collect ET (yes, the 80s movie) merch. only tasteful, nothing tacky! i have a couple vintage necklaces, keychains, & then various plush versions of him. it’s one of my favorite films of all time & more than any other movie holds SO much nostalgia for me. it’s super comforting. :’)”

From

Libby Burnett

: “I collect discarded shopping lists. I know it sounds kind of strange, but I love the juxtaposition of the list of things a person needs written on a piece of paper (or sometimes cardboard) that they don't need - sometimes it's from a dedicated shopping list notebook, sometimes it's a child's drawing or a cereal box. I like trying to figure out what meals they had planned, or what sort of event they were preparing for. Each one feels like a precious fragment of humanity.”

From

Panni

: “I collect theatre tickets and playbills. I have some going back to when I was around 5 or 6. At one point I had all my theatre tickets displayed on a board on the wall - eventually had to buy a second board lol. I also collect postcards like many people here - but mostly specifically from museums I’ve visited, always hoping they have one with my fave artwork from that visit. And finally, I collect (hoard?) memories from my travels - everything from boarding passes to brochures, metro cards, cool branded napkins, etc.”

From

Sunny Zhong

: “I collect business cards from cafes/restaurants/other shops in the cities i’ve traveled to as lil reminders that I was there. It’s also so interesting seeing how the language and design change depending on where you are in the world!”

Everyone who shared was so thoughtful and intentional, and I loved reading through everyone’s responses and getting a peek into their world. Read about 50+ more ideas in the Feeling! chat — the nicest space on the internet:

P.S. Did you notice the little brand refresh?!

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