How to Host a Home Café
I made a guide for your menu, designed invite templates, created to-do and grocery lists, and all you have to do is love your friends big!
Welcome to the first entry in the new column, Happy Hosting!
I taught a high school Event Planning class and wrote our curriculum. In the process of studying events, hosting, and community practices (so I could teach them well), I fell in love with the art of gathering. I’ve come to understand there’s a science behind why some gatherings have stayed with me forever — and why others are entirely forgettable. More importantly, I’ve learned what tools I have in my toolbelt to create the spectacular kind!
The book The Art of Gathering is always the first thing I recommend if you feel a personal pull toward hosting. It’s a guiding force behind every event I host, big or small. I read it yearly with my students, and it offers radical clarity in the midst of the social nuances we all navigate. It brings the most important elements to the front of the conversation—so you can do the razzle-dazzle part really well!
Inspired by my love and fascination with hosting, I wanted to create something unique to help others plan gatherings. There’s no shortage of inspiration out there, but I’m drawn to practical tools too. I saw a gap and decided to fill it: combining high-level creative direction with task lists, timelines, and the real “how to pull this off like tomorrow” and “how much will this actually cost?” kind of help.
Basically, I think everyone should be the creative director of their own home. And I’m here to assist.
Today, I’ll give you everything you need to turn your space into your new favorite coffee shop! (Hello, I’m you’re new personal assistant!)
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
☕ Establishing the “why”
☕ Project Management (your pre-made Notion master plan including an easy budget sheet, to-do list, and grocery list)
☕ Making your invite list
☕ Creating a menu
☕ Razzle Dazzle! (I designed a cute template for the invites & menus that you can plug your own info into, found you a playlist, and some tips for keeping things joyful until the very end!)
☕ Establishing The “Why”
Again, I am sharing from my very favorite book about event planning, The Art of Gathering. Priya Parker insists that in a culture of “chill,” a good host is not chill at all. She makes compelling points throughout the book about how defining a set purpose, time, and structure to your event is a kindness to your guests.
We, as guests, know this to be true.
But sometimes as hosts, we feel too demanding even setting certain times for our party. “Come by whenever you can,” “if you want,” “whenever,” “bring whatever,” etc. Parker spends a lot of the book combatting this ferociously, arguing that we do our guests a disservice when we don’t provide any guidance. It is more helpful to provide clarity.
“Having a purpose simply means knowing why you're gathering and doing your participants the honor of being convened for a reason.” - Priya Parker
We have all attended events that were superfluously “chill,” (i.e. no one was bold enough to define a purpose of gathering) but the room is just full of people on their phones, uncomfortably engaging in small talk between scrolls. Compare that to times you’ve been invited to participate in events with a clear meaning for coming together — they are drastically different experiences. One probably remains in your memories fondly. And as a host, you want to leave guests with fond memories to hold on to.
You do have to read the book to understand how Parker hammers down a purpose for the events she hosts, but it completely challenged me and changed my mind. I walk away from the book, after every read, with a reminder that I should be more intentional in the things I do.
“A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong, confident hand, but it is run selflessly, for the sake of others.”
“The chill approach to hosting is all too often about hosts attempting to wriggle out of the burden of hosting. In gatherings, once your guests have chosen to come into your kingdom, they want to be governed—gently, respectfully, and well.”
So for YOUR home café, take some time before you dig in to define the purpose of the gathering. It should be straightforward and simple. It’s not as glamorous as making the mood board, but your purpose is essential for every decision you’ll make about the party—down to the color of the cups!
I recently hosted a home café in our apartment, and I landed on this purpose:
“I will invite close friends who work remotely into my apartment for coffee and pastries so we can do our work side by side.”
The primary focus for my event was productivity. I wanted my friends who also worked remotely to have a chance to change up their routine, be cozy, and eat and drink well while we typed away at laptops and took calls!
Your goal may be different — it may primarily be focused on community-building. Or maybe celebrating. I encourage you to jot your own down before you start planning.
☕ Making the Invite List
It’s okay that not everyone gets invited to everything (take a deep breath, people pleasers). You must consider the practical implications of hosting first, in order to make sure that the people you invite are cared for well.