Things I Did That Made Last Year Better

A hodgepodge of things I made, discovered, used, purchased, felt, did, tried, and enjoyed.

I became more me last year. I think I sorted through some big stuff. Maybe this happens when you turn 27. I’ve heard your thirties are a better decade for this reason — you’ve already sifted through some big stuff. You survive the striving and identity crisis of both adolescence and your early twenties, and you feel like you know yourself much better. You also know other people much better.

Things that formally would have shocked and devastated me now seem clear to navigate. Interpersonal conflict (even a disgruntled email) used to send me into a spiral; now I know those situations can be handled without the compulsion to make myself sick about it.

When I taught middle school, I battled maladaptive hyperperfectionism in students daily. It had a way of crippling some of the brightest lights. Many of the kids in my program had never gotten less than an “A-” and had been given very little freedom in their lives to fail at something.

I’d lay out an activity and watch them engage for less than 60 seconds, when inevitably, they’d announce their disdain for the activity. But I knew it was just because they weren’t automatically the best at it. They wouldn’t try things if they thought they wouldn’t win. The shame, embarrassment, and pressure of this lifestyle came out sideways when they were 17 and applying to colleges. It is absolutely not a sustainable way to live.

To combat it, I gave them ample opportunity to fail and show them they were brilliant, bright, and loved enough to survive it. Essentially, their brain needed a data point of a time they did not meet a standard, and it did not affect their worth. They butchered public speaking in front of the class, but nothing happened — no one even cared. Data point!

The more opportunities they had to fail and be safe, the more data points they had to reference, and the more they became confident to face challenges. “That was hard, but I did it.” The point of life is not to be as comfortable and bubble-wrapped as possible; you must face hard things to grow.

This year felt like my turn to build resilient data points and address my own fears (of which there were many).

me, taken at eye-level with my 5-year-old nephew, a budding photographer

Some underlying beliefs needed to be pulled out from the roots and killed. Some dreams needed to be rekindled. Some chapters needed to be closed shut. Some lessons were learned the hard way. I wrote more than I ever have. I was more challenged than I’ve ever been — on every front. I lived in a city that would not coddle me, but would push me. I feel that this year practically demanded I become more confident, which is a character trait I’ve struggled with since I was a little kid hiding behind my dad’s legs.

Recently, at a wedding back in my hometown, someone earnestly asked me, “Aren’t you afraid of being on the subway?” And I laughed and said, “The subway should be afraid of me.” I was joking, of course, but I realized it didn’t land when they looked a little horrified. I guess I’ve become more confident.

For the Journal Lovers:

A few prompts to get honest with yourself (Or others! You can use these as conversation starters!)

• How did your relationships change in 2025? Romantic, friendships, family, work-related, and otherwise.

• What challenged you the most?

• How did you change?

• What is something you used to be scared of, but are no longer intimidated by?

• What is something you lost this year you wish you could have kept?

• What is something you lost this year, but it was good to leave behind?

• What did you forgive in 2025?

• What did you gain in 2025?

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To bring to life my own reflections of the past year, I’m sharing a list of things I made, discovered, used, purchased, did, tried, and enjoyed. It’s a bit of a hodgepodge; some are heavier hitters than others, but I hope it sparks fresh creative ideas for you as you comb through. I’ve also just come off a 20+ hour round trip, and so my writing is a little extra…punchy? Enjoy.

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I posted this silly photo of me making a family breakfast (in said jeans), put my phone away for hours, and then came back to messages interpreting this as a pregnancy announcement. Whoops. Now, I laugh so hard because…yeah…what was I doing with my hand?!

I found jeans that fit me

I suppose a time comes in every woman’s life when a pair of jeans arrives and fits them like a happy little glove. I thought this was a myth, a legend, or that the denim fairy skipped me. But then…my jeans came in the mail. Never in my life have I ever gotten so many compliments on a pair of pants. They are soft, they hug me, they drop and flare exactly like I want them to. I can eat a meal and breathe freely. I could even walk in the park in them. Is this womanhood? Is this what I have been aiming for since the days of Justice denim and Limited Too dressing rooms? I have aged in this process, but I have reached pants nirvana. The promise of womanhood has come to fruition, and I will embrace it as long as I can until the inevitability of spilling something major or an accidental toss in the dryer marks the end of this precious golden age.

I took pictures of everything like it was my job

I was glued behind a camera since I was a child, and somewhere along the way, I stopped documenting. This year, I changed that. I brought my camera everywhere. I took pictures of everything. My family dinners, my apartment on a random Tuesday, friends’ faces, and my dog. And I did it for sheer delight.

I forgot I love to edit photos. I love to remember moments. I am painfully sentimental. And I know how important it is to document the rooms and the people in them — because one day you may diligently search for any photo of a person you can find to remind yourself of them. So I put in the work this year, took photos of everything, and sent them to everyone. Here are some photos I took at my brother’s wedding that make me smile.

I learned to make chai better than coffee shops

For Christmas, Connor got me a Loka chai maker. Now, on my stove, I can make chai better than my favorite coffee shop. Seriously, this is the best chai I’ve ever had — and it’s from my apartment! I am delighted with my new ritual, and it’s little bubbling fountain.

featuring mom & dad

I wrote things down

I filled many notebooks this year (this blue one was my favorite). I wish I could tell you they were filled with thoughtful reflections. They were mostly filled with ideas, Substack drafts, grocery lists, to-dos, and prayers scratched on the train. Incoherent, imperfect signs-of-life, I know I will be happy to look back on and decipher one day. No need to have a pinterest perfect journal, just start writing things down.

the dead look in my eyes is because I was trying to learn how to make a knitting knot (didn’t do it right)

I finally figured out how to do my hair the way I like

In elementary school, you were either a girl who knew how to braid hair on the playground or the girl who was collecting shiny rocks at some other part of the playground. I was never a braider, more of a rock collector.

A feat above all feats, this year, I finally figured my hair out.

My hair is fine, but I have lots of it, so it’s also quite thick. It’s dry generally. And it’s curly and wavy. I always wanted a smooth blowout look — embracing natural curls at the end of my hair, without a frizzy top of my head. As far as heat damage goes, I have been in a perpetual loop of trying to straighten and curl my hair without deep frying it. After years of attempts, something worked! Here is my magic formula:

• Take a long, contemplative shower with the water as hot as you can stand. Come up with your best book or song ideas. Use this hydrating shampoo, and take a big scoop of this pistachio-ice-cream-colored conditioner. Davines’ is the best shampoo/condish I’ve ever used, I now can’t use anything but Momo.

• Outside of your shower, wrapped in a fuzzy towel, spray on heat protection spray.

• The Shark Glam is it, folks. This is how I do the whole thing with only one tool. It has a wet/dry setting. I do the “glossie” attachment to dry my whole head, one layer at a time. It then, magically, looks like I just got a professional blowout. I usually follow up with the curl attachment and add some curls to the ends. It goes SO fast.

• I finish off with oil on the ends to hydrate! (plus it smells magical)

I played games

We are a game family. I’ve fully embraced that, and deeply enjoyed connecting with others over the after-dinner board game.

• When staying with my in-laws, I joined their games of nightly Rummikub. They play every night and keep a log of scores from each game and tally up an annual winner at the end of the year. I love this.

• I got Connor and I Snakes of Wrath, and it is actually a very fun two-player game (rare to find a fun two-player)

• Magical Athlete is the most magical-looking game in all the land. It is the perfect game. Not too intense on the instructions, but could be played a million times with different results. Perfection.

• New card games also entered the rotation: hand and foot, up and down the river

how many people can you fit in a 700 sq. ft. apartment?

I invited people over more than I ever have

I used to like to host occasionally, but last year I invited people over more than I ever have. Perhaps the realization in a new city that if I didn’t reach out to anyone, I wouldn’t have any friends at all resonated. Sunday lunches, random dinners, work-from-home days, holidays, and movie nights — and I was better for it. Nothing has to be perfect, just invite people into your life.

I found that day-to-night top that J-14 magazine used to talk about

Okay, I got a black lace top that could be worn to work or out to a bar, and you’d feel chic either way. Based on the number of times I read “day to night” as a qualifier for a good purchase in the early 2000s magazines, this feels like I’ve achieved something. Right?

I fell madly in love

I stayed up late laughing, wrote secret notes, kissed in subway stations, daydreamed about him when we were apart, and slow danced with my head on his chest. I’ve had the same boyfriend since I was seventeen. We celebrated 6 years of marriage in May. It does not get old. I am constantly affirmed that choosing Connor was the most correct decision I’ve ever made, as it continually grows more wonderful. I get butterflies when he looks at me. I am so known in my own house. I wonder what it will be like when we’ve been married for 50 years — will we be able to communicate depths with just one look? This year, I fell more in love. This year, I felt so loved. The emphasis on early relationships, wedding-planning, and “falling in love” stories pale in comparison to the kind of love I’m experiencing now.

I hydrated

If your skin is dry in the swamp of Florida, it will most certainly fall off in the tundra of New York, I learned. I found the best, hydrating lip balm of all time, and they make it in “Earl Grey,” so I am set for life. I need nothing else.

I started drinking a ton of electrolytes in my water, and I guess hydration really does make you feel better, like they say. I also used a facial steamer in my bathroom all the time and took really deep breaths so my skin could survive this winter.

I cleaned house

I managed 700 sq. ft. of creative chaos consistently, kind of. One would think that a smaller space would be easier to keep tidy, but no. A smaller space suffers one suitcase packing stint or one laundry day, and is entirely turned over to clutter across every square inch. I picked up after myself more than ever. And I also managed kitchen smells outside my bedroom door, meticulously. I found the best working (and smelling) all-purpose spray this year and surely wore it out.

I also started more regularly de-cluttering and donating clothes, home items, and essentials. This is a rhythm I’m really grateful was established.

I cleansed

I upped my shower game. It is my time to relax fully. I upgraded my shower head to be both a happy shade of red and have a filter. I scrubbed my scalp with purpose. I gua shaed. I got a rose-shade shower curtain and felt like I was truly in a spa. I also went to a sauna for the first time (thanks to a generous invite from a fellow Substacker, S.P.A.) and took notes on the design of the space so I could implement the spa’s feeling into my tiny bathroom. Updates to come.

I challenged myself in the kitchen

I talked about my kitchen so much that I ended up in Better Homes & Gardens! I am trying to turn my kitchen into my favorite restaurant, and I have taught myself a lot of cooking skills in the process.

My kitchen became a creative workspace as I developed recipes, plated food artistically, and sought to make a space in my home that I love to be in! I am picking up this journey with vigor in 2026, and I am so excited to share more.

I stopped buying so many lattes

I learned how to make them myself. I started making seasonal syrups and rotating them out like I owned a café and my livelihood depended on it…but it was just for us and our friends to enjoy. Learning to make a matcha, latte, or brew a perfect cup of tea will only take a little trial and error, and then you enjoy that skill for life. I added hojicha lattes to my repertoire, and that has been a delight! My favorite thing is having someone over and being able to delight them with a drink that would meet the standards of their favorite coffee shop. They don’t even have to leave a tip.

I read fiction

Cheers for more fiction! I discovered Kristin Hannah (late to the game) and read two of her books as if I could not come up for air until I finished them. I got my New York Library card, began listening to fiction consistently on Libby, and I am better for it. I think constantly reading fiction makes me a much better non-fiction writer. I would love your recommendations for any delightful, whimsical reads for 2026 in the comments if you have any.

I was vulnerable

Yeeeesh. In order to make new friends, I had to put myself in that uncomfortable, vulnerable position. I reached out first, but I didn’t always hear back. I shared my dreams and ideas publicly, even though some never transpired. Sometimes I wanted to retreat, but I am ultimately stronger for sticking it out.

I sat in the sunshine

I sat on the roof as much as possible during the summer months and journaled and read. I went to the park and picnicked, played bocce ball, and rested in the sun. During winter, I found a bronzer that makes it appear as if I were once in the sun.

I became a woman who wears boots

My mom mailed me these black boots, and they are so comfortable. I am now a woman who wears boots. Tell everyone.

Made some Shirley Temple mocktail jello shots with my gelee set and they were a crowd pleaser!

I was less afraid

At some point last year, I realized the boogey man had stopped chasing me. Perhaps this was because I prayed for years for relief from anxiety. Perhaps this was also because I moved to a city where I simply could no longer sustain being anxious, because I wouldn’t be able to walk outside and function. This is an encouragement to anyone who battles fear that feels like it will never relent. There is tremendous hope for your future. If I can feel peace, you certainly can too. The sticky, gooey feeling of fear that I’ve remembered since I was eleven years old seemed to slide off last year as I diligently mustered courage and gained those “data points” of hope.

I fought harder

I think the older you get, the more you realize how high the stakes are. There are a lot of good things to fight for.

I believed in a bigger hope

I think it became increasingly difficult to exist in some lukewarm, grey area about life. Last year, I doubled down on things I believed in. Ultimately, reconnecting deeper with a bigger, stubborn hope. The idea of whimsy — and the relentless pursuit of joy despite all circumstances — has become a cornerstone in my life. It’s been a balm for anxiety and grief. I’ve learned to fight for joy by giving it away, and I’ve seen the fruit it bears, both for others and myself.

I collect joy like treasure: images, books, photos, colors, memories. I surround myself with them for rainy days. Because I forget so easily all the joy I’ve known, and all the good that’s still to come.

That pursuit of joy turned out to be a quiet superpower when I faced despair and grief after losing a loved one far too young. It was nearly impossible to keep going, but I had people who gently, graciously pointed me back toward hope.

And just to be clear: you can’t muster that kind of resilient hope from within yourself. You have to draw it from something bigger, something eternal. For me, that’s the good news of the Gospel — it outlasts the rest.

As a designer and writer, everything I make points to hope and joy. (I hope you feel it when you encounter my work!) For the past eight years, I’ve shared color palettes that evoke feeling and memory — little reminders of beauty, posted online for anyone who needs them. Joy is not always trendy. It often ruffles feathers. But it’s necessary for our hearts to stay afloat in a dark world.

I hope some of these reframes and ideas push you, in your own unique way, to keep pursuing a life full of whimsy, joy, and hope.

Give away joy like you will never run out!

it’s really you and the dog you get in your twenties versus the world

I reached 33,000 readers

In a puddle of tears, I thank you earnestly for subscribing to my magazine. This is my dream. You believe in it. And I am so grateful for the honor to make things for you. Substack changed my life last year. You changed my life! And the best is yet to come, truly. I am earnestly working to make this Substack better every day, and to turn this magazine into print too! I’m so honored you have come along this creative ride.

To celebrate this milestone, I’m giving away 33 paid subscriptions, randomly, in the comments. I hope it feels like a true gift! Just leave a comment about something you did, made, loved, or tried this year, and you may be randomly selected (I use a number randomizer!) for a subscription.

Thank you for subscribing to Feeling! Magazine! — this year is going to be the very best one. Just you wait.

XO Jenna O.

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