Little Gifts, Big Feelings

A cheerful guide to getting moms gifts, thoughts on the hard parts of trying, and dinner party horror stories.

On Saturday, the sun was shining across Brooklyn sidewalks. After waiting in a brief line, Maci and I politely asked for details on Nako’s “signature latte” we had been eyeing on the menu. The barista smiled and said it was “Earl Grey sea salt flavored,” and we tapped to pay faster than they sling guns in Western movies.

We walked, debriefed, and sat in the sun with the East River glistening in the background. There were a million dogs out and about, which I usually stopped the conversation to acknowledge the really outstanding ones (all of them).

We talked a lot about the effort it takes to build community in a big city. I shared that I had been a bit burned out by my own efforts, had taken the winter to hole up and recover, and was now curious about the path forward. It’s one of those things where we can stand on the cusp and wonder if you should withdraw and play it safe, or give it all you've got and get beat up in the process. Life is made of a lot of those forks in the road. I think I’ve incurred the most damage on the path of giving it all I’ve got, yet the path of less resistance is where I’ve accumulated most regrets.

“So I guess I just keep trying?” I ask my friend. She nods behind her sunglasses.

It’s a wonder what a walk and talk can do for the heart. And perhaps, what an Earl Grey matcha can do for me personally. It was a precious reminder to keep trying with any hope that can be mustered. It may hurt, but I will not wonder “what if?” This feels reflective of my design journey as well, as I am preparing to go back into the “belly of the beast” of entrepreneurship. I am working on my first collection of greeting cards in five years, knee-deep in the design process, wrapping up branding, and starting to build out the website. I often feel the panic of the fork in the road: am I really going to open myself up to all this risk? Or should I play it safe? I’ve decided I’d like to be the kind of older woman who did really brave things throughout her life, so I suppose I have to do the scary part right now.

One thing that makes the scary parts more manageable is a table full of other people creating, dreaming, and scheming. I got together with Hetta Home, who graciously hosted us (Rose Florence, Molly Ford, gr8 collab, Alex DiCapo Patel, Lily Sullivan, Charlotte Parker) over a warmly vibrant table. I realized I love gingham tablecloths more than I thought, namecards are an underrated joy, and being around inspiring people will help you do the creative work.

Hi Rose + Molly!!

Among many women doing many exciting things at the table was Lucie from the iconic East Village bakery, From Lucie. Her inaugural cookbook comes out tomorrow, and I got to hear a bit of their amazing process, shooting the cover in film over in Paris, testing recipes for three years, and understanding her process as a baker.

I knew I would be sharing a Mother’s Day gift guide this week, so I just wanted to include her cookbook as a top recommendation for mom. It is gorgeous, and gifting a cookbook can include the caveat of quality time, as you could make a recipe together! Moms will love.

Making a book is grueling, and I was so inspired to see her in action right before it releases. It is full of the actual recipes she uses in her bakery.

I asked Lucie where readers should start once they get the book. She said, “First, the carrot cake, then flourless chocolate cake, and then the chocolate chip cookies.”

SHOPPING FOR MOM

I am sharing an early Mother’s Day Gift Guide for you today! This was especially fun to put together, and I hope you can tell I had a blast doing so.

Mother’s Day is May 10th! The holiday can sneak up on you, so I wanted to give everyone a head start to be more intentional. Of all the holidays, it should probably be taken the most seriously, yet we are all the least prepared for it because we don’t have the magical force of moms to back us up on this one.

I’d also encourage you to use the holiday as an excuse to love the other moms in your life, not just your own. Friends, aunts, grandparents, siblings, etc., who are moms doing their thing could also use a boost, certainly. If you have lost your mother, maybe this year could start a tradition of generously loving another mom in some way.

Per usual, my biggest piece of advice is: do not neglect a handwritten card. A thoughtful message, memory, or feeling written by hand is likely going to be the gift she loves the most.

Set a timer for 20 minutes, sit down, and order a gift for your mom so it will arrive in time for you to wrap and attach that thoughtful card!

I aimed to pick gifts from a variety of price points, with many ideas that could be bundled together as a bigger gift. Here are some ideas for gifts I believe women will actually like and use:

✸ This is a fun cherry-colored heart keychain that could be gifted alongside a new tote, a note about your own heart (she will cry), or used as a gift wrap topper for some extra sweet pizzazz.

✸ A compact pearlescent mirror keychain is for the elegant mom. It is one of those really nice-to-haves for travel, sliding in the car, or storing in her purse. The pearly glow of the compact gives the practical an edge of sophistication.

✸ These ribbed pearl earrings are like a really good pair of dark jeans: they can be dressed up or down. They are the type of dangly earring that could be worn to work or a wedding. The best gifts are ones they can actually use.

✸ The boar-bristle oribe brush is peak useful luxury. It’s taking something she uses every day and giving her the best version of it. I personally use this brush, so let me tell you about it! The combination of boar bristles and nylon pins feels incredible against the scalp and makes your hair silky smooth. Like, silky silky. And shiny. Plus, the resin tortoise-shell-esque design is exquisite.

✸ Papier makes a custom recipe journal where you can choose your own cover photo. The journal is full of blank recipe pages you could fill with some family classics beforehand if you want to make her tear up a bit.

✸ Small business, Stamped & Finch, makes this stunning glimmer of hope necklace. The designer states, “My heart for this necklace is to be a piece that stands as a declaration of hope and a reminder of lovely things coming.” I feel this could be a lovely gift for moms who have experienced heartache and loss, and need a reminder of something good and tangible to hold on to.

✸ Stamped & Finch also makes this stunning heirloom necklace, which you can customize with an initial.

✸ I found this Etsy shop that makes such a good monochromatic frame for your photos, available in so many wonderful shades. It’s a standout decorative piece that will also make her sentimental.

✸ These custom birthstone earrings are lovely for everyday wear. Here is my idea: get them in HER mom’s birthstone. Write a note revealing this, and put it in her gift.

✸ Good Weather just made a glossy SPF lip gloss in two shades that remind me of popular lip colors in the early 2000s in the best way. Berry is my favorite. This little treat is perfect for a beach/outdoor-loving mom who may still listen to Martina McBride on her long walks.

✸ Dedcool perfume is my very favorite scent brand. For moms, I think Mineral Milk or Xtra Milk will absolutely hit the spot. The travel sizes are $30 and perfect for adding on to another gift. (P.S. Readers of Feeling! like Dedcool so much, they gave me a discount just for you. JENNA15 for 15% off)

✸ A custom waffle pouch from Abodde allows you to choose any color and an embroidered initial or fun symbol, just for her. The waffle fabric is super soft, while the bag structure is durable (and spacious).

✸ Shiny silver Puma flats for moms who are on the MOVE just felt like a very good option. Pairs well with a baseball cap from their favorite vacation spot.

✸ For women with many things in their purses, I present a little cow coin purse made on Etsy.

✸ It’s hard to stroll through Brooklyn without seeing a mom with a custom initial weekday tote bag from Alex Mill. The monograms make them unique to the individual, and they can seriously haul some loot.

✸ Dona’s cardamom rose concentrate makes for an at-home sweet treat. Pairs really well with an enticing new chapter book.

✸ Harney & Sons’ Victorian London fog is like a more complex, vanilla-centric Earl Grey tea. Tea is really the perfect mom gift. You could include a stainless steel tea steeper, a new thermos, or specialty honey alongside the blend.

✸ This beautiful espresso cup from Il Buco Vita is wonderful for the mom who is a bit of an at-home barista.

✸ Another recommendation from Harney & Sons is Earl Grey Matcha, a loose-leaf blend coated in matcha powder. I was a skeptic, but it tastes absolutely wonderful. You could gift it with a cute bottle of homemade lavender syrup.

✸ A temperature-controlled Fellow electric kettle is the ultimate gift for the tea-loving mom. Call in the siblings and go in together on a kettle, with a basket of teas!

✸ Dona’s chai concentrate is simply the best. You keep it in the fridge, pour over ice, and top with milk for iced chai lattes all summer long (you can also serve it hot). A sweet treat for moms who are into sweet treats.

✸ Manicurists’ glow nail polish strengthens your nails while giving them a “jelly” pink glow. Just a necessary tool for any woman’s nail rotation. I think any mom would be into this gift because it is so practical! It’s a safe bet.

✸ Krewe gelato readers are so cool. You can buy the frames as readers or blue light filters. I feel like they are the kind of glasses coastal chic mothers in rom coms wear while doing crosswords on their hydrangea-filled porches.

✸ Soft Services’ nighttime hand cream is a dream because: 1.) It comes in this cool pink pump vessel that is also a little jewelry tray 2.) It smells like “spa” 3.) It is thick and serious and has retinol for overnight hand cream

✸ Okay, so this one works best for moms of three. Look at this custom birthstone ring! You can pick any three birthstones to go in it! I suppose this would work for two kids + dads or + moms as well! Just so special to wear around her finger.

✸ A polka-dotted custom photo book is the right move, for sure. Fill it with recent memories, or put a “theme” together for photos from the years. Ideas: cooking together, best trips, mom fashion, newborn years, etc. Roping in siblings and extended family to contribute photos will add to the impact of the gift.

✸ BonBon is a Swedish candy store that feels like if Wes Anderson said, “let’s make a candy store.” Every element, down to the gummies themselves, is designed with color and Wonka-level magic. A BonBon box is like a mystery box of flavors that are as fun to eat as they are to put in a bowl and stare at for hours.

✸ If your mom would not like a big box of sweets, and you just need a little somethin-somethin, sour blackberry fish is my pick.

✸ Margauex’s (In Step) woven mary janes are a luxury shoe pick that will last her seasons to come. Margauex’s thing, if you will, is the balance of elegance with comfort. Their shoes notoriously feel like wearing socks. I know a fashionable mom would appreciate the craftsmanship and detail of the flat.

✸ This Waverly tote cinches at the top, so her books, glasses, lipstick, baked goods, weapons, etc., do not spill out. It is made of a sleek recycled nylon material that makes it a marvelous everyday bag, in a color she likely does not have!

✸ For moms who cook, these floral pasta bowls are a decadent canvas for her art. They look like heirloom material.

✸ For colorful moms who enjoy either an iced coffee, midday juice, or evening cocktail, Anthropologie’s howdy glassware is a playful gift she will smile about. Pairs well with some drinks/snacks from the grocery store tucked in a basket together.

✸ I know that Big Night’s bold, red butter dish is perfect for someone’s mom out there. I just have this confidence that one of you will see it, and it will exactly resonate with who your mom is.

✸ Pair the incredible ceramic butter dish with a pearly bistrot spreader, and deliciously thick butter from the farmer’s market, of course.

✸ Another tea recommendation for a mom who likes a good wind-down, yellow & blue chamomile tea is a cozy fit. I imagine pairing this with a new fuzzy blanket or nighttime read.

✸ I have an activity to go along with this paint by number kit. Buy two, one for you, one for her, a bottle of wine, and make an at-home “paint & sip” situation. She will like the quality time the most, but the art is frameable and lovely too.

✸ Soft Services’ carea cream is a lightweight body lotion with no fragrance that hydrates like magic. If your mom endured a long winter, this is a very practical gift she will use to the full! Plus, the bottle packaging is so beautiful, it feels decorative on the nightstand.

✸ This jade bead statement necklace comes in multiple bold colors, and it’s one of those things an accessory-forward mom longs to have in her rotation.

✸ Another crafty project, this pretty punch needle kit, is ideal for an at-home craft night together. She will remember your time spent with fondness. Bonus points if you bake her cookies.

Happy shopping! If you want to click through all the links together, I put them here.

✸ I wrote 10 practical ideas to help you get your zest back for life. I know, often, these types of lists are unrealistic, but I thought of things that can be implemented easily with nearly no budget needed. I hope it hits you right where you need it.

✸ I announced that I am launching a greeting card brand back in February in this post. The process of starting up a business (after having my heart broken by stationery years prior) has been both creatively exciting and intimidating. I have a branding reveal coming for you soon that we have been working on for months. I am hoping to document the process of building this business (very bootstrappy) in my apartment, and the feelings that come along with it. That is, if you would find it interesting!

✸ If you need a list of movies that will not make you feel awful, but leave you feeling inspired, we made one!

Greetings from the best spot on the internet, the Feeling! Magazine chat room! I recently asked:

“When you have been a guest at someone else’s party...what did they do that made you feel instantly more comfortable?

And if you want to dish...when were you invited over and made UNCOMFORTABLE immediately? What did they do to make you feel that way?”

The answers were very revealing. For making a guest more comfortable:

allysa says her hosts, “Introduced me to the group and then connected me with someone over a common interest so we instantly had something to talk about.”

Rylee Hitchner reports from the sidelines of bounce-houses, “This is uniquely a kid party thing- but typically at kid parties, there are tons of people you don’t know. But the kid party I truly enjoyed stands out in my memory! There was a jewelry-making table & all the moms sat & made jewelry and opened our hearts as we focused on the craft in our hands. Having a big table to ground us & a thing to keep us busy took away the awkwardness of being strangers immediately.”

Cassandra Jackson-Baker shares, “Being offered a drink is always appreciated. As is being introduced, if you don’t know anyone.”

Katie added in, “This one isn’t always applicable, of course - but I love when I show up to a party and the host asks me to help with something (big or small)! It could be restocking a platter or helping to finish setting something up - sometimes I’m helping alongside someone, idk, which makes it a fun ice breaker :) Haha, it sounds random, but I think it’s a really charming way to make things feel a lot more casual/comfortable and builds a nice sense of community. Also, this taps into a bit of what was said earlier, but it’s nice to have something to do with your hands!”

Kaity said plainly, “I love when I go to someone’s house for dinner, and their kitchen is a disaster. It’s so relatable and it helps me relax.” Amen.

Courtney Denker shared that her “Hostess brought out a Slipper Basket! So cozy, so homey.”

Lauren Sands poignantly stated what is necessary: “Introductions and making sure to engage someone in conversation until it’s clear it’s flowing naturally without intervention. If someone is new to the group.”

Molly shared as the host: “At one of my own parties, I set out a couple of sheets of temporary tattoos for guests to put on as everyone arrived. Beats the awkward standing-around period and made things instantly fun!”

pam shared the magic of table games: “I was invited to a party where I knew no one and they immediately introduced me to everyone in the room. Minutes later, we were all laughing over a game of UNO.”

And in dinner party horror stories:

Cassandra Jackson-Baker details, “Not cool was the time I arrived at a rather small gathering and there weren’t enough chairs or glasses and no one seemed to care, including the host. I left after 15 minutes.”

Skye weighed in, “Perhaps the worst gathering experiences are when people immediately bring up past drama and hurts harbored against other guests. It sets the scene for a horribly awkward time!”

Cathy 🇨🇦 made my jaw drop with this one: “Walking in to the hosts serving dinner to 2 other couples. No introductions, no offer to join them, rather we were directed to the basement to hang out, they would join us when they were finished.”

Erin Meagan made me think about breakfast logistics, stating: “My cousin was at a pancake brunch without knives…”

Kristen Hall summed it up well, “I was immediately uncomfortable at a party when there was no music playing, and the host didn’t invite me to a single person, and I was forced to have a conversation with the only two people I knew (who weren’t that fun to talk to lol).”

Excited to share more on hosting this week with the newest Feeling! Magazine column:

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Thank you, Hailey Howe, for your lovely work on Feeling! Magazine Graphics! You made this Monday Letter magical!

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