A Life Worth Feeling

A delightful reference list of very human moments, and the application to the Pen Pal Program for anyone itching to connect through the handwritten note.

The end of this article includes a new application for the Pen Pal Program for paid subscribers to Feeling! This round of applications will close on Monday (July 27th) at midnight EST. Find more information and the application link at the end of this piece! Can’t wait to welcome more into the program!

In the film Wings of Desire, trench-coat-clad angels live invisibly among men. It’s set in the gritty, black-and-white world of West Germany in the eighties. The Berlin Wall ominously looms in the background, as the city divided seems to squirm with unbearable melancholy and industrial despair. People are desperate, the angst of grunge music backgrounds daily life, while the city feels as grey as the clouds of cigarette smoke that fill it.

The angels are unseen, but walk among the city looking out for people, touching them with an invisible hand, seeking to save lives. (They all have little ponytails for some reason, by the way.) They are eternal, but marked by some sort of perpetual sadness. Almost a boredom? They have no connections, no warmth, no color, no life. No one can see them or love them. They wander the city day and night, watching unknowing humans.

One angel in particular feels the scrape of this purgatory. He longs for the human kind of connection.

In a striking scene, a man who was also once an angel can sense his presence and addresses him directly. “I wish I could see your face. Just look in your eyes and tell you how good it is to be here.” He earnestly begins describing to him the wonder of what it feels like to drink coffee, to touch cold things, to rub your hands together.

Finally, of course, the angel later encounters the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen — a trapeze artist in the circus — and falls in love with her. The love he feels toward her overpowers him. He decided to trade his eternal life of safety for the fiery risk of human touch.

Landing on Earth, he can see for the first time in full color, speak to humans, feel the air, taste food, bleed, cry, scream, and touch the ground. The last thing he posesses from being an angel is a piece of armor he can no longer wear, symbolic of the eternal protection he no longer has. He pawns the armor and begins his new life, fully human and wearing a goofy fedora.

The remainder of the film follows him searching for the woman who captured his heart, stumbling his way through becoming a human in this unforgiving, very punk city.

I watched this Wim Wenders film while cuddled up on the couch, my cat asleep soundly on the blanket on top of me, my husband alongside me.

I cried a little when the man describes coffee to the angel.

The city had been so bleak the entire time. The grit of a divided and depressed nation echoed through every scene. Everyone seemed lonely, depressed, and aching. And yet…the taste of coffee! The most human thing.

Despite the bleakness, the ache of it all — the angel found life so beautiful and alluring, that he left his eternity to feel it all himself. In order to live in full color, we must encounter the entire spectrum of human feelings. To love deeply means to grieve deeply. To dream big means to suffer losses.

But I, like the angel, would rather risk feeling to be fully alive. I do not want a frictionless, robotic life. I want typos, spills, and creaky floors. I want challenges and tremendous loves. I want to give pieces of my heart away, even if they get smashed. I want to swing big and make art and try hard, even if I am misunderstood or rejected. I don’t say this naively. I’ve suffered losses that made me think bubble-wrapping myself would be better. But all things considered, it is my choice that living deeply in color is the best way to live.

The scene stuck with me for days, as I pondered what I would tell the angel about being a human. Would I bring up coffee? Or the way I pour milk into tea and it slowly changes colors? Or seeing a sunset in vivid color?

I asked readers of Feeling! to tell me what makes them feel human, and together we have created a list I will reference for life. Enjoy!

(Feel free to keep the list going in the comments…actually, please do!)

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Handwritten cards.

Birthday parties at public parks, with balloons on picnic tables.

Spotting a school field trip out in the wild.

When an animal makes eye contact with you.

Re-encountering the familiar streets of your hometown and still knowing your way around.

Nights with friends that you will not forget.

Trying not to laugh at inappropriate times to the point of holding back tears (at services, graduations, lectures, etc.)

Post dinner card games.

When something goes so terribly wrong on a family trip that it becomes family lore for the next decade.

Loving a book so much you cannot put it down.

Beachside lunches (hot dogs, lobster rolls, chicken tenders, etc.) with iced cola.

Dancing in the rain.

Sleeping while rain hits the windows.

When the cat at the function chooses your lap.

Conversations that leave you feeling lighter.

The sound of the ocean, after you haven’t heard it in a while.

The voice of a grandparent.

Freshly washed sheets and a book in bed.

Ice cold lemonade while sitting outside.

Falling in the googley moogely kind of love.

Impromtu coffees or lunches when you run into someone familiar.

Neighborhood gatherings.

Familiar couches, familiar kitchen tables.

Holding hands for the first time.

Reuniting with someone you can’t wait to spend time with.

Being in the know on really good surprises.

Working on a big project with a team and actually pulling it off.

When you let someone merge in heavy traffic, and they give you a little wave through the rear windshield - riley!!

Amphitheatre concerts where everyone is dancing on the grass together.

Someone helping an elderly person carry their groceries to their car. - Avery

When the crowd sings along all together to the biggest hit song at a concert- gives me chills every time! - Sammie Kay

Baby giggles. Any baby. Anywhere. Anytime. - Julie

Listening to playlists made by friends.

Walking around with no destination.

Experimenting with recipes. - angela

Homemade meals around the dinner table with family or friends. - Clare Marie

Bare feet in grass. - Kelly

Talking with friends! I think it’s a good practice for my brain to put what I’m thinking/feeling into words. Also very deeply human to hear insight from what the people around me are thinking/experiencing. - Katie

Gardening, specifically waiting for new plants or seeds to grow.- Kendell

Reading, gardening, cooking, every hobby that actually requires hands and a physical manual. - Valentina

Seeing others reading out at the park, a belly laugh, a good cry, walking a handwritten card to the post office box, watering my plants, the smell and sound of coffee brewing in the morning. - Joi Payton

Road trips with faint music in the background, and friends just sharing stories. - Karella

Listening to live radio. Sending loved ones postcards. Having lots of acquaintances that you met ‘out and about’ in the neighbourhood. - Reb

Walking or biking to my friend’s house! Sharing a neighborhood with some of my closest friends is so deeply special to me. - jenna

Catching foxes in the yard! They make me so happy (Even if they sometimes steal garden fruits and veggies. We can share!) -Rebecca Rocket

Witnessing an underdog soar to new heights on a world stage in sports. (i.e. the Cape Verde goalie, Vozinha, this World Cup) -Virginia Blanton

Standing outside in the rain or, alternatively, pressing up against the window to listen to it. - Ada Oberman

Making a really delicious coffee - Kamela from The Back Row

The sound of opening a new hardcover, a big hug, a prayer before dinner Rachel (@_rachelreadsalot)

Talking to a random person in the grocery store, learning a sliver of their life, only to leave and you never see them again. A moment of connection and hoping things go well for them. - Ada Oberman

People sharing their umbrellas. - Olivia Murphy

Experiencing a natural wonder with others. A giant waterfall. A golden afternoon at the lake. Snowfall. - Amanda Soltoff

When you’re riding your bike and can see the sunlight through the leaves like little stars - Marita Godoy

There’s no better place that I get the feeling that I am part of something bigger than myself than being at the ocean! Not to sound super cheesy, but being at a beach with strangers and seeing everyone have fun playing in the water or relaxing with the small waves makes me remember that people have been doing this for as long as we have been here and will continue to do so long into the future. - Alexandria

Seconding natural wonders/natural phenomena. I was lucky enough to be in the path of totality for the 2024 North American solar eclipse, and standing in that baseball field with my best friends and watching it slowwwwly start to get dusky over the course of an hour and then all of a sudden get dark as night for 4 min. It’s one of the only times I’ve ever experienced that sense of shared unity and connectedness with the natural world and the other beings in it. - Sam López

A happy wave between strangers lifting someone merge in traffic. - Hannah Krueger

Getting excited about the simplest things—like birthday cake! - Megan T

Experiencing an inconvenience together (like a plane/train delay) and forming a connection because of it. I remember trains in the Netherlands were not riding because of severe snow and cold. And people stranded at Eindhoven train station just started having a snow fight to have some fun despite being delayed. - IHCSpoor

Singing in a group acapella - Paige

Hearing a song you used to LOVE and forgot about - Cate Hatton

Every time someone runs over to help a mum get a pushchair/buggy/stroller up some steps, or gives up their seat for someone older. - Lucia M

Dropping a child off at school/camp…and picking them up. Lonsdale

Anything where you’re in a crowd and all celebrating or experiencing the same thing together. This is a very specific memory for me, but I saw Avengers: Endgame in theaters on opening weekend, and at the moment when Captain America catches Thor’s hammer midair, everyone in the entire theater screamed and cheered out loud. It was this giant collective “I KNEW IT” moment, and it was just so fun. - Carys

Often, my fellow neighbors and I will clean the snow off each other’s cars while we’re cleaning our own off because there’s only 4 apartments and maybe 10 cars total. Chatting with a neighbor while moving from car to car is so nice after being stuck inside during a storm! - Coley T.

Specifically, someone going out of their way to help someone else, especially when it’s really not that big of a deal (letting someone know they dropped something, taking someone’s cart back when they’re leaving the grocery store and you’re entering it etc.) - Gillian Suhre

A tight hug from a toddler. - Golden Hours

A physical book with a beautiful cover. - Powder Room

Having a nice interaction with a grocery store clerk. Feeling the wind on your face. The smell in the air after it has rained. Going for a drive with loud music and the windows down. Connecting with someone over a book. Baking with a friend. Reading outside. Running into a friend unexpectedly. A friend advocating for you when you’ve been wronged or neglected. Sitting in silence with someone you feel safe with. I’ve been bedbound and isolated for 10 months and you have no idea how much I long just for these tiny things that many people don’t even think twice about, but that are so necessary to feeling human. - Anneka Vander Wel

I drove past a guy walking around a house with his arms stretched out wide and wondered what he was doing, then when I got around the corner, I saw a dog running full speed towards him. On the fourth of July, we were watching fireworks and a girl (prob 8yo) came flying past me on her scooter and yelled over her shoulder “I like your dress!!” - Kimberly Robles

A bride and groom being out in public on their wedding day and getting cheers from passing strangers. - Natasha Edwards

Playing a record when I’m cooking dinner. - aw

Walking slowly to get somewhere. - Kendra ♡

A genuine kiss at the end of an emotional day. - Gabriella Owen

Dropping letters through the mail slot at the post office (really, everything about the post office), and when you’re in the window seat on a plane and the people in the middle and aisle seats both pass your drink to you from the flight attendant, and then later help pass your empty cup back when trash comes along! - Coley T.

I’ve recently gotten into asking some basic and fun questions like we were kids. I had a really unexpected but revealing conversation when I asked some friends what their favorite planet was, and it was interesting to see their eyes shuffle through old filing cabinets of memory to remember. - Christian Reyes

Being present outside, listening to birdsong. - Marisha

Keeping a physical journal and handwriting anything I can. - Emily Smith

People who look at you in the eyes and say something nice to you, receiving a thoughtful card or handmade gift, people who are happy to help others without wishing anything in return, hearing children laughing, any type of random act of kindness, having a joyful conversation with a stranger. - Marion

Talking to a barista and or shop assistants at my local shops. It makes me want to sing the Cheers theme tune. - Avril Lobo

Reading in a small coffee shop. - Penny

Painting. Way more than the finished image is involved in making a painting. It’s the artist’s skill or lack there of, the paint itself- the selection of the kind of paint that’s being used. Is it a heavy body paint? Is it a runny paint is it stain? The selection of the utensil used to apply the paint. Is it a brush? Is it a pallet knife is it a sponge is it done by hand? Did the artist create a tool to apply the paint? - Felicia V. Gaddis

Awkwardness! My being awkward used to make me cringe, but now it feels real in a world barreling towards everything being smooth and seamless. - Lilly Chandler

Unique handmade fine jewelry! Like a really good handmade chain! - Camille Wynn

Seeing a stranger help a teenager/young adult tie his tie on the R train. - joshlchinn

Laughing until you’re crying with a good friend over something really stupid. - Caroline S.

Around the city, when people put their sports teams flags and signs in their office windows. - Abby

Seeing anyone carrying flowers! Or even seeing flowers on someone’s doorstep, as happened to me on my run the other day. I always wonder: are those flowers just for them? Are they for someone they have a crush on? Someone who is having a tough go of it? An anniversary? Their mother? The host of a party they’re going to tonight? Halie Rae │ The Slow Painter

When you let someone drive first on a narrow street, and they give you a little wave. It makes my day. - Kelly

I saw a young mother counting change to pay for her groceries while hanging on to her active toddler, when the man behind her reached out and tapped his credit card to pay for them. - Vera Milan Gervais

When you’re wrangling your children on the airplane and the passengers around you interact kindly with your children or tell you good job mama or give you that reassuring look that they get it and that they’ve been there before. And then you become that kind of passenger too when you’re traveling (blissfully) solo later. -Helen Chang

When a dog has his head out a car window and looks like he is smiling. - JD Clement

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Apply for the Pen Pal Program Here:

One of the most treasured forms of human connection is through hand-writing! Long live snail mail. If you are a paid subscriber to Feeling! Magazine, a perk of your subscription is that you can apply to be matched with a hand-picked pen pal.

This service includes:

• Match-making by me :) with an introduction via email to your match!

• A monthly inspiration drop newsletter for letter-writing themes, crafting ideas, and prompts for pen pals

• Exclusive discounts on greeting cards from the almost-open Feeling! Press stationery store

• Access to every article and column from Feeling! Magazine (Including the much anticipated graphic design classes coming soon!)

• Monthly desktop and phone wallpaper drops

• Monthly printables!

• *If you chose the “founding membership” ($89/yr) — you also receive a postcard and greeting card in the mail EVERY month! Perfect for sending to pen pals!

If you are a paid subscriber, access to the application is below:

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P.S. Telling my Substack friends before anyone else…new secret Instagram for the upcoming greeting card business is here. I would love to have you join the journey and see some familiar names!